yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
