We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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