Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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