I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think my moral compass just broke
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