What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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