I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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