Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
