Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If I die, sorry about rent.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
