My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
