a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
