Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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