every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
