Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
