there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
