Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Sober January is a disaster.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
