You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
