I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
