so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
