4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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