you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I intend to get homeless drunk
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Man, jail baloney is awful.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
