I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
