She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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