Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
