Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
