So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
