Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
