I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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