I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
People in love make me want to vomit
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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