My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
