My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
They are going to name an STD after you.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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