So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
