so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
