brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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