How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
