I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so let's talk penis.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
