She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
