Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
