Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
