It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
