I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
