Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
