An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
