So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
