You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
