you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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