You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
