I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Pants are for mortals
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
