My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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