I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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