You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
