Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
