She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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