yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
