I wish they made helmets for livers.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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