I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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