So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
They have beer where we have blood.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
